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Product: Audio CD
Title: Bridge Over Troubled Water/This Is The Night
Label: RCA
Artist: Clay Aiken
Rating: 1/5
Customer rating - 1 out of 5
Revised review - very humourous


It may say Revised on my review title, but that doesn't mean I like Clay. Oh no. I still despise him to the maximum.Oooh looky here, I already got 0 out 5 people thinking my review is helpful. Haha, how did I know that would happen?Let's review each element of this single individually, shall we?
THE NAMEClay Aiken. What a name. What kind of name is Clay? Clay is what you make pots out of! Ha! Clay Pot Aiken is what I'm gonna call him from now on! But seriously, Clayton Aiken? No wonder he shortened it to Clay. It rhymes so badly, if I was him I would have changed it too!
THE MANHmm... does the words 'Let's Do Broadway!' mean anything to anyone? He's so Broadway he belongs on a musical! Maybe he could do Cats, he looks kind of like a cat. Or he could be the Phantom from the Phantom Of The Opera! I can imagine it now... Clay Pot on the big stage, in his underground lair. Mwahaha.Everytime I put this single on (I own it because my friend, who thinks she's oh so hilarious, gave me the single for my birthday), I can see Clay's facials! Eww! I got my friend to do an impression of him, and it horrified me. I agree with Simon when he said "I prefer you when my eyes are closed". I'd prefer it if Clay kept his mouth shut.
THE MUSICA complete joke! You call this music? The debut single from Mr. Pot is a COVER. Can't his writers write him a original song for his first single? Yes, yes I know "This Is The Night" is original, but "Bridge" is the main song. IMO, he murdered both songs. The songwriters of "Bridge" must be rolling in their graves (or their beds if they're still alive) hearing this man sing such a terrible version of their song.Hey Clay, you're such a big superstar with loads of fans, how come you only put TWO songs on your single? Such a ripoff for your money. You can download both the songs for free, it's easier, lol. And you can still love Clay at the same time (even though loving Clay is something I can't apprehend at all, eww).
OVERALLSome people may think from the length of this review from a 1 star Clay hater, I'm in fact a closet Clay lover. Others may say "If you hate him so much, why did you bother to write a review?", oh well la di da, I'm allowed an opinion. I want someone to tell the world of the horror that is Clay Aiken. And others may say "I don't like some of the music you listen to, but I don't go writing reviews saying I hate it, do I?", but frankly I don't care what you think anyway (my favourite groups are Blue, Mis-Teeq, Spice Girls, Atomic Kitten, S Club 8 and Liberty X, and I don't give a toss if you like them or not). Someone needs to hate him, if everyone loved the same music, the world would be boring.Don't buy this single.
(And in the chance that this review doesn't get posted, I have saved a version onto my computer, so I can laugh at my own good review)



Product: Audio CD
Title: Mezzanine
Label: Virgin Records
Artist: Massive Attack
Rating: 5/5
Customer rating - 5 out of 5
GREAT FOR THOSE PASSIONATE TIMES


SLOW AND MELLOW - GREAT FOR WHEN YOUR FEELING ROMANTIC - GLAD I FOUND THIS CD



Product: Audio CD
Title: Music
Label: Warner Brothers
Artist: Madonna
Rating: 5/5
Customer rating - 5 out of 5
Beginning to end better than Ray of light


I think Madonna once again has a chance at winning the Album of the Year Grammy. Although her lyrics are as introspective as jr. high poetry, Mirwais' production values & Madonna's infectious persona make MUSIC one of the most stellar albums of this era. From the already famous "boogie woogie" title track to the folkish closer, each song is unique and memorable--a lot to say compared to most studio pop records these days. For music fans, Madonna is truly a joy to listen to. As the back cover art suggests, no she can't play guitar, she isn't Bob Dylan and she isn't Joni Mitchell, but she isn't afraid to be herself, play make-up at 42 and experiment with the funkier side of music.



Product: Audio CD
Title: Enigma 3: Le Roi Est Mort, Vive Le Roi!
Label: Virgin Records
Artist: Enigma
Rating: 5/5
Customer rating - 5 out of 5
Give it time...


Enigma's third offering continues with the theme of the second; it almost seems to be a parallel album at first glance, albeit with a futuristic twist.
I was a little disappointed when I first listened to it; it didn't seem to have the depth and variety of Enigma 2. Since my first impression, I have listened to it many more times, and have come to appreciate it for what it is. I still think Enigma 2 is superior, but beyond it's own offerings, Enigma is beyond comparison.
Anyone who purchases this CD won't be let down. It's incredible.